I don't know what I'm about to say right now. I just found myself here, and my heart feels all kinds of swirly with feelings and convictions and hope and determination.
The last 2 years have been like, majorly transformative for me. Which isn't to say they were hard, necessarily...although at times, definitely. Just very transformitive. Which, I feel the need to add: it didn't just happen. I definitely initiated that transformation, albeit a bit ignorant of the can of worms I was opening. Phew man, it's been two years of stretching and growing and deep breaths and confusion and trial-and-error and so much determination. And also, so so much pride and love for myself.
The questions: Who the hell am I? and Who the hell do I want to be? pretty much sum it all up. For some reason, the hell is an important component in those questions, possibly because it emphasizes the desperation behind them. Like, I've got to figure this out. Which is not to say that I haven't answered those questions multiple times in the past, but as an ever evolving human (and wife and mother and friend and spirit), I'm of the upmost certainty that these questions will reappear periodically forever and ever.
Wednesday, November 01, 2017
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
He brings happiness to our family every second of every day.
He makes us laugh and smile constantly.
He is darling and sweet and funny and hilarious.
He is our little buddy.
Sunday, September 24, 2017
five things i'm grateful for today
1. the weather! Summer is officially OVER and I am thrillllllled about it! Honestly, the end of the summer can get a little depressing (similar to a dragging on winter), and we were really feeling it. But finally it's cooled down, and my gosh, those windows open, scooter-walks, picnic breakfasts, jumping on the trampoline, exercising outside, and grilled dinners. It brings me insane amounts of happiness! Last night we had a bonfire with friends, where we chatted and roasted s'mores. It was absolutely lovely!
Friday, September 22, 2017
I was sitting on the living room floor, folding clothes, and Garrett was making his way through the living room to our room. He paused and said, "When other people see us, do you think they can tell how good we have it...?" And without leaving me time to respond, he continued, "Like, do you think they know that we are the happiest couple that has ever lived?"
He wasn't flirting or trying to get a reaction out of me, he was dead serious, genuinely asking. I responded, "I'm not sure. But we really are, huh?" And then he nodded and headed into our room.