Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Dear Mom,

Okay, so my last post may not have made much sense. I didn't really elaborate on anything. It was just my random thought for that moment.
Here's a more in-depth look into my mind.

I can't find a job. Literally. I've applied at probably 30 places. Probably more. Not even kidding. And I haven't even gotten any bites back. It's been very frustrating to say the least.
And then I finally got something promising! All I had to do was go to a 2-hour orientating/training and pass a little test and then I'd have the job!!
....And then I missed the training. Yup. I don't even know what to say. Who does that?! It's not like me to be that irresponsible and forgetful. I normally have an excellent memory. But I got mixed up on the times and showed up too late. They said I could just come to the next training in a week and a half (which would be this friday) and then today they told me that it'll be postponed for at least 2 more weeks. Which is unacceptable. So the job hunt is back on!
Maybe I'll apply to taco bell. I saw a sign that said they were hiring. I'm desperate at this point. And it's only for 2 more months. I can't just not have any income for a full semester. And I'm already running out of money. It's stressful.
And that's where my faith picture comes in! I know that it'll work out! One way or another. Either something solid will move in for me to stand on, or I'll learn to fly. One or the other.
I'm a good person. I do good things. I'm kind to those around me. I am righteous. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. I'll be blessed. I know it.
It'll work out in the end. And if it hasn't, it's obviously not the end yet.

When I stress out, I make plans. I sit down and write everything out. I calculate bank account numbers and future bills down to the penny. I make pro/con lists of all my options, or lack there of. I make a detailed plan. With progress dates and everything. Sometimes it's impossible to truly execute. But it makes me feel like my feet are on the ground and I'M taking steps. Carefully timed and planned out steps. It makes me feel more in control.
That's what I did before I transferred to Provo. I made a plan. And so far, nothing has gone according to the plan. Scratch that. I am marrying the love of my life. And that was in my plan. It was the biggest part of my plan! So that plan is still considered a success in my eyes.
As far as the other parts of my plan....well now I'm adjusting it. So that's where I am right now. Making goals. Some of them are completely pertaining to the job/money situation. But some of them have no relevance. It's all good though. Life is good. It'll work out.
I mean honestly, worst case scenario: I drop out of school and make up my own full-time job consisting of me just driving around a barbie car all day. That sounds excellent! Barbie car here I come!

I'm happy. Are you? You should be!
Smile for me, mom! You've got every reason to smile!


1 comment:

  1. love you kae... i just found your blog today from leah's and i had so much fun reading all about life in provo.

    you're adorabe and i'm not even as good as God and i would give you the BEST job ever if i could so i KNOW He WILL bless you!!

    i think these days before your marriage will be hard-- cause what you are about to do is SOOO GOOD. hang in there and know there are LOTS of people who love you and who are praying for you.

    ps. garrett is adorable... baby cute (in a good way)!! can't wait to meet him!!


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