Friday, April 01, 2016

Let It Go

Oh man.
I feel like I want to document our little life a tad more on this little blog. So that's what I'm here to do.

When this year started I had a really strong desire to make this a year of improvement.
2015 was a really good year, a definite success...but I'm not sure that I grew that much as a person. I had a lot of fun with my family, and I think I was a good wife and mom and friend. But looking at who I was in January, compared to who I was in December, I don't think there were many differences. Which is fine. But this year, I really want to see a difference in myself, no matter how small or big. I want to work on myself, and I want to make progress.
Ya know?
I have a vision of myself using this year as a big giant step towards becoming who I ultimately want to become. Last year I kinda just tiptoed in circles. This year, I want to leap forward.

With that in mind, Garrett and I have gone a little crazy in the 'improvement' department. We've been on a 'freeze' kick, which, let me explain what that means. We've done spending freezes, social media freezes, gotten rid of TV, put our phones across the room when we're together, started an exercise program (12 weeks in, baby), and started eating heather.

And I gotta say, it has been....I don't even know the word. Like really really great. And eye opening. And fulfilling. And hard. And sometimes discouraging. But at the same time I've felt like I'm standing a little bit taller through it all. And I can feel that good things are happening around here.

In January I decided that I wanted a theme for the year, and after thinking about it for a bit, I came up with "Let It Go." Go ahead and start singing Frozen in you head if you want. I chose let it go because I want to let go of all the things that are holding me back. I want to let go of grudges, insecurities, laziness and bad habits. And instead I want to forgive, have confidence in myself, and be proactive and productive. I want to wake up early, letting go of my instant desire for sleep, and get started on my more delayed goals for the day. I want to let go of the things that don't matter, like appearances, perfectly decorated homes, monetary wants, and what people think. I want to say goodbye to things that waste my time, or drag me down, or only offer temporary or false confidence. I want to fill my time doing service and loving others and building people up. Instead of scouring websites for things I can't afford to buy (hello furniture and clothes), I want to scour books of learning and growth, I want to document my thoughts and memories and the things I've learned, I want to teach my children and give them new experiences

I want to exercise my mind, my body, my heart, and my spirit this year.
I want my body to be healthy, which means filling it with good foods, exercising, breathing fresh air, and letting my skin feel the sun. I want to let go of cravings and laziness and extra long naps. Give me more walks in the sunshine, hikes in the mountains, green vegetables and fresh fruits.
I want my mind to be healthy, which means talking kindly to myself, thinking good, positive, uplifting thoughts, and being hopeful. I want to stretch my mind, think critically and deeply, and learn new things. See ya later negative self-talk, TV marathons, social media, and worrying about love-handles. Hello book club, smiling at myself in the mirror, and choosing hope and optimism over fear and negativity.
I want my heart to be healthy, which means loving others and myself. Giving my heart to those around me. And feeling all the feelings, acknowledging them, and letting go of the one's that don't matter. I am SO bad at grudges. So so bad. And like, I just want to freaking LET IT GO already! Goodbye, grudges. Hello, forgiveness and peace.
I want my spirit to be healthy, which means praying more intentionally, relying on my Savior's love to give me peace and confidence and hope and patience, learning more about Him and His perfect life, and trying to follow Him in every way. I want to practice gratitude every day, close my eyes to the material things I lack, and open my eyes to the things I've been blessed with and the ways I can bless others.

This has been a total thinking on paper (er, screen) post, and maybe in the future I'll feel inclined to share the little (and big) changes that I'm making, and the big (and little) differences that I'm seeing. But for now, I feel satisfied.

It's going to be a good year. It already is.

This is the print I made to represent my 2016 theme. It hangs on my wall, and is one of the first things I see in the morning. It has served as a perfect little reminder for me. 

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